The best way to attract what you deserve is to become unavailable to what you don’t.
I’ve been thinking about this recently, particularly in relation to how we show up in our own lives, both as contributors to and consumers of culture and the arts. We are constantly encouraged to put ourselves out there, to be visible, available and open to every opportunity that comes our way.
Showing up has become synonymous with being present for everything: every conversation, and invitation. But showing up for everything isn’t necessarily the same thing as showing up for yourself.
Sometimes, showing up for yourself means becoming more intentional about where your efforts go. It means recognising the difference between being open to life and making yourself available to everything within it. We can spend so much time holding doors open because we’re afraid of missing an opportunity that we forget to ask whether we actually want to walk through them.
The past eight months have shown me that being unavailable isn’t about slipping off the radar. It’s about discernment. It’s about understanding what consistently takes from you and deciding that you no longer have to make space for it. This is an essential first step.
And before the imposter syndrome takes over, let me clarify:
Expression and Achievement Are Different Things
Another thing I have been thinking about is the difference between expression and achievement. The two are not the same, although we often treat them as if they are. Not everything that has given me purpose has had to be produced into something the world can measure, and I think that is an important thing to remember in a world where we are constantly being asked what we have to show for ourselves.
